The Coming of Emrys
by CynicAlb
Summary: So this is a sequel to my story No Mortal basically continuing season 4 into Wicked Day. Merlin is bound to the veil and he's still learning what that means and whether Arthur can handle it as well, then there are assassins and ghosts and what does being Emrys really mean? COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

* * *

Merlin sat in his chambers looking at his hands. He closed his eyes and opened them grinning at his hands, then he closed his eyes again and opened them grinning even harder.

"What is so entertaining about your hands?" asked Gaius stood in the doorway.

"I finally did it," said Merlin still smiling, "I can turn the Sight on and off."

"What do you see in your hands with the Sight?" asked Gaius frowning.

"You know I told you I started seeing colors everywhere, coming from people?" asked Merlin.

"Yes, I did some research I think you're seeing part of the soul called an aura, it's like an energy that shows a person's personality and feelings."

"And if they have magic," said Merlin.

"How do you know that?" asked Gaius.

"Normal people are flat colors, that shift and change like you said with emotions, people who have magic have that too, but the color is more vibrant and it sparkles," said Merlin.

"Magic sparkles?" asked Gaius frowning.

"Yes," said Merlin, "you have a faint sparkle, since you can use magic, but usually don't. Your aura is orange by the way, changing from very pale to very dark almost red. My aura is bright blue, like lightening."

Gaius smiled at him, "Here," he said, handing Merlin a sandwich, "you should get going; the entertainers are coming this afternoon."

* * *

"Stop gawping like an idiot, Merlin," said Arthur. Merlin pulled back from watching the acrobats in the courtyard.

"What's wrong?" asked Merlin, "It's your birthday, there's a feast planned, and there's acrobats, dancers and jugglers coming to entertain you!" Merlin smirked, "It must be a terrible burden."

"Perhaps I'm not as easy to entertain as you are Merlin," said Arthur going over the latest crop reports from the outlying villages, the break in the weather wouldn't last and they needed whatever was left to be harvested quickly. The grain stores needed to be replenished and…. he looked around because Merlin had gone quiet. Normally he just tuned out his servant's mindless ramblings, Arthur found it oddly soothing. Now when he looked at why the prattle had stopped, he saw Merlin was back at the window, except this time his face didn't show the unconcealed glee he'd had before. He was frowning. "What is it now Merlin?" asked Arthur, suppressing the urge to ask if he'd seen a ghost, mostly because the answer would probably be yes.

"That one," said Merlin pointing discreetly to an older man with the entertainers.

"What about him?" Arthur asked frowning.

"There's a line of the dead behind him, and they don't mean him well," said Merlin.

"Is he in danger?" asked Arthur, "Or are they like friendly spirits?"

"They're not friendly," said Merlin still staring down at the man, "but he's not the one in danger. You are."

* * *

Merlin screamed, and blood splashed across stone, and Arthur sat crying. A dagger raised high. A cup clattered to the ground. A body lay in state in the great hall, and another on a slab in the crypts of Camelot. Morgana woke from her vision with a start, a smile playing across her face.

* * *

Author's notes: This is the I'm sure long awaited sequel to my S4 plot-hole plugging story No Mortal. I hope you all enjoy it! Later Cynic.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

* * *

Merlin moved back from the window, and felt a little dizzy so he sat down on the floor under the window. He put his head in his hands and took some careful breaths.

Arthur pulled his desk chair out of the way and crouched down in front of him.

"Merlin?" he asked frowning with concern. Merlin looked at the prince with new eyes. Arthur's aura was a deep purple, it radiated from him like a thick comfortable cloak, and he thought he could see a hint of sparkle there, not much perhaps just a left over from whatever spell Nimueh had done to bring him into being. It was a tiny spark that could be cultivated, if he chose it, but that was unlikely for the time being. Merlin closed his eyes focusing on his breathing pushing back the power of the veil, when he opened them again, Arthur was still there looking at him getting more worried.

"Sorry," said Merlin sheepishly, "that many full spirits reaching out at once, it's a little overwhelming." He sat up fully still looking at Arthur's worried face, "I'm okay now," he smiled a little embarrassed.

"Okay," said Arthur not entirely convinced, "What about the spirits following that man says that I'm in trouble?"

"They're all restless spirits, half of them are trying to build their energies to avenge their own deaths, and the rest are calling out a warning."

"What warning?" asked Arthur.

"Beware, The Gleeman's lies, he'll kill the prince before your eyes."

"A poem?" Arthur laughed a little, "These spirits seem pretty jolly in their warning."

"It's not funny Arthur, I don't know why they're rhyming, maybe the afterlife is boring. Gleeman is a murderer, the ten spirits that follow him all say so, and his latest victim a young duke's son, Lester of Coria is sitting next to you, he's saying that he was murdered a month ago, at Gleeman's last stop, apparently his stepmother wanted her own son, in line for the title."

"Merlin that's not funny, you can't go around accusing noble women of murder," said Arthur suddenly stern.

"I'm not accusing her," said Merlin frowning, "I wouldn't do that without proof, after four years I know you never take me at my word. Maybe you'll take Lester's word for it." Merlin's eyes rolled back in his head.

"Merlin!" cried Arthur, jumping to stop him from hitting his head on the wall. Merlin sat up suddenly and blinked.

"Wow!" he said, "That's different."

"Merlin?" asked Arthur frowning.

"No," said Merlin his voice had changed, he was now high pitched and nasal, "I'm Lester, son of Ian Duke of Coria."

"Merlin this isn't funny," said Arthur.

"I'm not Merlin, I told you already," Merlin's entire posture had changed, he was sitting up straighter and he was gesturing with his hands as he spoke, Merlin always spoke with his arms at his side or held behind his back. "I'm Lester, Merlin's here too still, but he's letting me use his voice so you can get my story right from me, instead of him having to relay everything to you." Arthur looked unconvinced, "Let me see, what's a noble thing I can tell you that someone like Merlin wouldn't know. Hmm, you know I can't tell you how surprised I was that Merlin could see me, he's a servant your know?" Lester pulled Merlin's face into a look of distaste, "and the fact that you know what he can do!

"That's a shock considering everything my father ever told me about Camelot, I mean one of my father's servants was executed when she accompanied him to a meeting, she wasn't a magic user she just had a pendant with markings from the old religion on it, one of the guards heard her curse in the old tongue and that was it, burned at the stake!

"This was fifteen years ago mind you, but he was really shaken by it, my father hasn't had the trouble with magic that you have here, but honestly I got the feeling he thought it was a bit harsh. Of course he never told King Uther that he basically steered clear of having relations with you guys again. It's a shame really the castle is gorgeous…oh sorry Merlin's giving me a bit of a prod here to get on with my story."

Arthur blinked a little taken back; this was definitely not Merlin, Lester with Merlin's face smiled at him it was a cocky smug smile that didn't belong on that face.

"So," said Lester, "several weeks back it was my birthday, there was a feast of course the whole thing," he rolled his eyes, "too much fuss and bother really, but Father insisted, so I went along. My stepmother well, she's never exactly been what I'd call nice to me, and you see my real mother died when I was two, of a fever, my father never really got over it, his court advisor said I needed a mother figure, so when I was nine he remarried to my stepmother, my mother's cousin they weren't exactly friends. It took her ten years with my father to conceive, to be honest I don't think even my father likes her all that much. Six months ago she had a son, she's all over him like a rash I pity the poor kid to be honest with you, anyway my father's all about my 19th party in our land it's when we're deemed of age you see and he's getting a special medallion made because now I'm of age I'm officially the heir to his title. My stepmother faked indifference, but could be found screaming at anyone who came near her with anything about the party. My father wasn't happy about it at all, and they had words, when at the last minute she told us about the planned entertainment I assumed she'd done it just to curry favor with my father.

"I didn't know he was an infamous assassin; Gleeman I mean come on! What kind of a name is that for an assassin? Anyway they did the show they did the tricks, the he asked for a volunteer, the next thing I know I'm being pushed into the center of the hall for a display of bravery and skill," he rolled his eyes again, it was kind of freaking Arthur out.

"This Gleeman, he's a dab hand with a whip see, he did this thing where he put out a stand full of candles without damaging them. Then he handed me the 'volunteer' a piece of paper. About this big," he held out his hands about shoulder width apart, "I stand about twenty feet away and he cracks that whip and it just flicks down the paper, without even coming close to me. The crowd was very impressed. Then he had me double up the paper and hold it again, and he whips it split in two perfect. Then one of his helpers takes the torn pieces from me and rolls a couple up into a tube, then he has me hold it between my teeth. Then the helper lights the damn thing, I would have dropped it, but the helper held it to my lips telling me it's okay, anyway, so Gleeman whips the lit paper out of my mouth before I get burned, but the paper smoked some and I have to admit I inhaled.

"The party broke up not long after that. I was glad, because I was getting dizzy, I thought it was the wine my father had insisted I try, but it wasn't; there was something on that paper. I stumbled back to my chamber, sat on my bed; my manservant was still at the banquet hall getting things tidied up. I remember thinking what am I supposed to be doing now? Then Gleeman walks in he's wearing a dark cloak, and he just pulled a dagger out and stabs me, right here," Lester put Merlin's hand on his chest, "I was so out of it, I didn't really understand what was happening, until the pain hit, Gleeman was gone, I was now lying down on my bed, dagger still in my chest up to the hilt. I actually think it was long enough to have pierced the back, so not a dagger more of a short rapier maybe. I could feel the blood pooling at my back, and all I could think of was I was going to die and I hoped I'd see my mother," Lester sighed and sat back.

"Then what?" asked Arthur.

"Then I was dead," said Lester rolling his eyes again, "Jees, I'm new to being a ghost and all, but you could use some tact mister."

"I mean how did you end up here?" asked Arthur. Lester shrugged Merlin's shoulders.

"I just did, not all the time, but sometimes, other times I'm in my chambers where I died, or with my father or even with my little brother. A lot of the time I don't know where I've been it's just blank, my next moment could be hours or weeks from now. I like being with Gleeman the least, he's killed two other people since I joined his little gang of victims."

"Why stay with him then?" asked Arthur.

"I just thought it's a strong connection for someone to have isn't it? He's the man that killed me." He paused as if listening, "Merlin says the same, that soldiers are often followed by their dead. Most are just shadows, after images without substance. He says I'm a restless spirit that's why I'm self aware."

"Why are you restless?" asked Arthur.

"I was murdered at nineteen!" cried Lester, "I never even got to have a life outside learning how to be a proper duke. Do you know what it's like to be the only son a widowed noble?"

"Well actually…" Arthur started.

"It sucks! I did all that work for nothing! I never even got to have a girlfriend! And this guy gets to run around and keep killing people! That's so not fair! You know what the stupid thing is?"

"What?" asked Arthur.

"I was thrilled when my stepmother had a son, I thought great two sons! Insurance, my father will loosen up his legacy is assured and I might be able to get some slack! Also company, I'm sure you know how lonely it is being sole heir. Now, not only do I never get the life I've dreamed of my brother is going to be raised by that woman, and my father will never see that she's capable of murder. When Steven comes of age I wouldn't put it passed her not to call Gleeman for another party, except this time with my father as the volunteer," Lester sighed, then Merlin's hand twitched and his shoulder jerked up, and then Merlin's eyes rolled back in his head.

"Lester?" asked Arthur.

"No," said Merlin hoarsely, "Lester's gone." Merlin looked pale and a little shaky.

"Are you okay Merlin?" asked Arthur.

"It was little draining," said Merlin he was sweating a little and his voice shook slightly out of breath. "I've never done that before, let a spirit speak through me. Gaius told me it was possible, but he didn't say…" Merlin he trailed off.

"He didn't say what?" said Arthur, "that it could hurt you? You look like death Merlin, how could you take a risk like that without knowing what it could do to you?"

"I had to get you to listen," said Merlin, he was blinking like he was struggling to stay awake.

"Come on," said Arthur pulling Merlin's arm over his shoulder so that he could support him as they stood. "I'm taking you to Gaius."

"I'm fine," said Merlin taking his arm back and promptly collapsing to the floor.

"You certainly look fine," said Arthur looking down on Merlin blinking up at him in surprise. "Come on," Arthur reached down and pulled Merlin up again this time Merlin didn't struggle. He leaned on Arthur and they made their way to the door. In the hallway, Lancelot saw them and rushed to help.

"What happened?" asked Lancelot grabbing Merlin on the other side and bring his arm over his shoulder.

"Dizzy spell," said Merlin, "Gaius said it might happen."

"Let's get you to Gaius," said Arthur not even blinking at the off the cuff lie.

"I can take him, sire," said Lancelot, "I'm sure you have other things to do."

"Council Meeting," said Merlin dully.

"Right," said Arthur, he knew Lancelot was giving him a graceful out, he hadn't even thought what it would look like if he was seen carrying his servant around the castle. "I'll check in with you later," he said to Merlin and let Lancelot take his weight.

"Remember Lester," said Merlin.

"I will," said Arthur and walked towards the great hall.

* * *

"Who's Lester?" asked Lancelot as he helped Merlin walk slowly to Gaius's chambers.

"A messenger, he left a warning for Arthur," said Merlin as they reached the door.

"What warning?" Lancelot asked warily. Merlin pushed the door open.

"Thank you for your help, I can get it from here."

"Is there anything else I can do for you Merlin?" asked Lancelot looking at his pale face worried.

"Look after Arthur today, I may not be able to come to the feast, just don't let him volunteer for anything okay?" Lancelot frowned, but nodded.

"You know you can trust me don't you Merlin?"

"Of course!" said Merlin surprised, he smiled at Lancelot, "I do trust you Lancelot, it's just that some things, you're better off not knowing." He patted the knight's arm, and turned to go.

"You don't have to bear it all alone you know," said Lancelot. Merlin didn't turn around.

"Yes, I do," he said and let the door shut behind him.

* * *

Author's notes: Okay so I splurged a little on this chapter, so sue me you guys are worth it! Hope everyone is enjoying it so far and don't forget to try one of my extra special brownies before you leave, I've give you a hint the special ingredient is more chocolate! :) Later Cynic.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

* * *

Arthur went to see his father who was finally showing some signs of recovery. Then he went to the council meeting and cancelled the entertainers he told the council that it would be too much for his father, who was feeling good enough to attend the feast. Then he did some paperwork, organized some extra labor to go out and finish the last of the harvest and restock the grain stores, and ate some lunch with Gwen.

Then he thought he was safe enough to go see how Merlin was.

"Sire," said Gaius as Arthur stepped into the physician's chambers, "what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, I hope you aren't feeling ill?"

"No," said Arthur, "I just came to see if Merlin is well enough to attend the feast or if I should have George stand in for him."

"I'm not sure," said Gaius, "He's asleep right now, he hasn't told me what happened do you know?"

"He let a spirit talk through him," said Arthur a little uncomfortable with the subject.

"He allowed a possession!" cried Gaius, "The fool boy! How long was the spirit inside him?"

"About half an hour," said Arthur.

"Double fool!" cried Gaius, "it's no wonder he hasn't stirred. The possessions I've read about have been for a few minutes at best. Why would he take such a risk when he can just talk to the spirits face to face?"

"It's my fault," said Arthur, "Merlin was telling me what the spirit was saying, but I don't think I was taking him seriously enough he wanted me to get the full story from Lester, I think he thought I'd take the word of a noble even a dead one over his."

"You're right," said Gaius, "It is your fault."

"Gaius!" Arthur protested.

"I'm sorry if I offend you sire," said Gaius, "but it's true, you never take Merlin at his word, especially when he's warning you of some danger. I know you have blinders due to your station, but you must understand that when Merlin talks to you about a spirit he has to be truthful, it's the only way for the spirit to be released through the veil."

"What happens if it isn't released?" asked Arthur.

"Then it remains until it is released, and since Merlin at that point has revealed that he can see the spirit, then it will remain with Merlin until it is released. Imagine a person no one else could see or hear was constantly by your side, talking to you getting in your way. It would test anyone's sanity. But then add to that the laws against magic in Camelot, Merlin can't tell anyone else he sees spirits or they'll report him as a magic user, and if he starts reacting to them in public he'll be locked up for being disturbed. How long locked in a room with a bunch of people no one else can see or hear who don't sleep who can't be hurt, or sent away, how long before he actually would be insane? Merlin must tell the truth as the spirit sees it, he must resolve the issue and release the soul. His life and his sanity depend on it. If you cannot because of your birthright trust Merlin's word on the strength of five years of loyal service, and friendship. Then trust that his life and his very soul is on the line every time you doubt his Sight."

"I'm sorry, Gaius I didn't realize the situation was so dire and you're right about Merlin's service, I've never had reason to doubt his word or his loyalty," said Arthur.

"I'm glad you realize that," said Gaius.

"Will Merlin be okay, since he was possessed for so long?" asked Arthur.

"He's survived this long," said Gaius, "I don't think any permanent damage was done, he's probably just allowed the spirit to drain too much of his energy. He would have had to channel the veil energy through himself in order to allow this spirit to use his voice. It's hard on a mortal body to deal with that much all at once. I expect he'll sleep until his energies are back to normal."

"How long will that be?" asked Arthur, "Will he be up in time for the feast?"

"I really don't know, I'd have George on standby there's really no telling how long he could sleep, it could be hours more or even days."

"Days?" cried Arthur.

"I really can't say, sire," said Gaius, "I will send a messenger to you when he awakes."

"Very well, tell Merlin if he ever pulls a stunt like that again, I'll have him in the stocks for a week."

* * *

Gleeman was furious.

"What do you mean canceled?" he yelled at his assistant.

"The Prince sent a messenger, he didn't hire entertainment and he's had reports about poor performances from our group. He refused us access to the inside of the palace," said the clown.

"Someone's been telling tales," said Gleeman thoughtfully, "No matter we can still fulfill Odin's contract. Send the prince a bottle of our special label wine."

"Right away," said the clown smiling.

* * *

The feast was a success, the whole court turned out to celebrate. Gaius came, but shook his head slightly when Arthur threw him a questioning look about Merlin. The feast broke up just after midnight. Gwen caught Gaius in the corridor outside the great hall.

"Where is Merlin?" she asked.

"He over did it today I'm afraid, I gave him a sleeping draught so he could rest," said Gaius.

"I hope he's okay," said Gwen concerned.

"He's still feeling the aftereffects of his injury. I fear it will be this way for sometime. Perhaps always," said Gaius shaking his head.

"I'll bring him a plate from the feast," said Gwen.

"That's kind of you dear, but Merlin won't wake until morning," said Gaius.

"Then I'll check on him then," said Gwen, leaving Gaius in the hallway.

* * *

Arthur took his father back to his chambers, and they sat at the window awhile.

"It was a good feast," said Uther finally.

"Yes, it was, I'm glad you enjoyed it father," said Arthur, "Shall we have a night cap? I received this rather fine bottle of wine as a birthday present, I can't think of a better way to end the night."

"Of course," said Uther smiling, "we shall toast to your birth, and the fine job you are doing as Regent."

"We shall toast to the vast improvement in your health," said Arthur pouring wine in to two goblets smiling.

* * *

"Merlin," a voice whispered to him and then yelled, "Merlin wake up!"

Merlin jumped up awake, and immediately regretted the move. He was still exhausted and his brain pounded inside his skull.

"Ow! What?" he groaned looking around for the person who'd yelled. Lester stood with his arms folded looking at him with an air of distaste.

"I thought you might want to know, your prince is about to get skewered."

Merlin blinked at the ghost, his words took a moment to register through his fatigue, and then he jumped up and ran out of the room, almost knocking down Gaius who was getting ready for bed.

"Merlin!" he cried, "What's going on?" But Merlin was already out of the chambers and down the hall racing for Arthur.

* * *

Arthur blinked slowly; his father had dozed off in his chair after only one glass of wine. Arthur was halfway through his second and feeling very woozy. He stood up carefully, and then stood still waiting for the room to stop spinning. When everything was finally settled, he noticed a figure standing in the doorway, he couldn't tell who it was the light from the hall cast him in shadow.

"Who's there?" asked Arthur frowning at the figure.

"Did you enjoy your wine, sire?" asked the man taking a step into the room.

"Who are you?" Arthur took a step back and put his hand on his sword sheathed and on the table; the room took a slow lurched circle and settled again.

"I am just a servant," said the man, "I've come to deliver a message."

* * *

Merlin ran full tilt down the corridor scattering the servants cleaning up after the feast, he'd already been to Arthur's chambers and found them empty. He spotted Gwen coming up the corridor and raced towards to her.

"Gwen!" cried Merlin. She smiled at him.

"Merlin, you're up! Gaius said you were sick," she said.

"Arthur's in trouble," he said not bothering to explain, "I went to his chambers, but he's not there."

"He was walking Uther to his chambers last I saw him," said Gwen looking worriedly at Merlin, "Why do you think Arthur's in trouble?"

"I'll explain later," said Merlin racing back down the corridor towards the King's chambers.

Merlin rounded the corner just as someone went into Uther's chambers.

"Arthur!" yelled Merlin running into the room and straight into the back of Gleeman.

Gleeman staggered and spun on the spot drawing his dagger as he went, he plunged the knife into Merlin's stomach.

"No!" cried Arthur staggering forward his sword raised. Gleeman was distracted Arthur sliced the sword across his back and as he turned allowing Merlin's body to drop to the floor, Arthur plunged his own blade into Gleeman's gut. "Guards!" cried Arthur, the wine was still in his system and slowing him down, he looked at Merlin crumpled on the floor, the blood starting to pool around him. "Guards!" he yelled again, his hoarse voice echoing down the empty corridor.

* * *

Author's Notes: Evil laugh! :D Later Cynic


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter FOUR

* * *

Gaius washed the blood from his hands; they shook a little as he tried not to think of how much blood was coloring the water in the bowl.

"How are they?" asked Gwen, stepping into Gaius' chambers.

"Good, bad and worse, I'm afraid," said Gaius grimly.

"Who's who?" asked Gwen.

"Arthur was drugged with a powerful sedative, he'll sleep for a few more hours and be fine," said Gaius drying his hands, Merlin's blood swirled in the water bowl, "The king, is in more serious condition the sedative combined with the medication, and alcohol has depressed his system. I'm trying some stimulants to bring him around without doing anymore damage," Gaius sighed and sat down heavily, it had been a long night.

"And Merlin?" asked Gwen.

"It's hard to say," said Gaius, his eyes were shadowed and glassy, "the wound was deep, and he lost a great deal of blood. Under any other circumstance," he paused.

"What is it, Gaius?"

"He should already be dead, with that much blood gone, and he was still weak from his episode this morning. All I know about medicine tells me that I was too late when I got to him," Gaius scrubbed his hands over his face exhaustion evident.

"And yet he still lives?" asked Gwen.

"For now," Gaius nodded, "he's extremely weak, but I did manage to stop further bleeding. If he lives for the next few hours then his chances get better. We just have to hope that Merlin has the strength to hang on."

"Merlin is strong Gaius, he will not give up on us now," said Gwen.

"I hope for all our sakes that you are right," said Gaius.

* * *

Agravaine ducked his head and he entered Morgana's hut.

"You've brought news?" asked Morgana smiling as he entered.

"An assassin breached the castle," said Agravaine, "they drugged the prince and the King, but failed to finished the job."

"But someone was hurt," said Morgana.

"Arthur's servant," said Agravaine, "he apparently came in at the wrong moment he was stabbed, and Arthur managed to fight the drug long enough to kill the assailant."

"Merlin," Morgana smiled, "is he still alive?"

"Gaius is treating him, but I heard he isn't doing well," said Agravaine.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Morgana's grin widened, "how fairs my brother and father?"

"Both unconscious but alive," said Agravaine.

"A shame, perhaps we can help them along their way," said Morgana, she went over to her shelves and pulled out a small vial of powder. She handed it to Agravaine. "Sprinkle some of this in their water, it will increase the potency of the drug by ten fold."

"At your command, my lady," said Agravaine smiling too.

* * *

"Arthur, are you sleeping?" A splash of cold and wet hit him in the face.

"Merlin!" cried Arthur, sitting up swinging.

"Yes, sire?" said Merlin smiling a little. He sat by the campfire turning a rabbit on a spit over the flames.

"Did you just throw water at me?" asked Arthur wiping the drops from his face.

"Of course not," said Merlin turning back to the spit, "But since you're up, the food's almost ready."

"That looks delicious," said Arthur moving closer to the fire as Merlin started cutting some flesh off the rabbit, he tasted it added some seasoning and handed over a plateful to Arthur. Then made one up for himself. They ate in silence for a few minutes. Then Merlin pulled down the carcass and dismembered it and stored the remainder of the meat. "Since when are you so good at that?" asked Arthur putting down his plate.

"Since I've been your servant for five years, and needing to preserve meat is something that lots of people do, not just hunters," said Merlin.

"Sorry," said Arthur, he looked at Merlin as he tided away their dishes and packed the bags back up leaving some fruit out for breakfast in the morning. "Can I ask you a question Merlin?"

"It's not something you normally do, but go on," said Merlin sitting back down at the fire and stoking the flames with a stick.

"Where are we?" asked Arthur.

"Interesting you should ask," said Merlin, "I'm not entirely sure."

"So you don't know how we got here either?"

"I walked into the clearing," said Merlin, "That's the first thing I remember, the rabbit was already dead and you were asleep, I figured; why not?" he shrugged.

"You walked into the clearing and decided to cook?" asked Arthur, "Didn't that strike you as a little strange? You could have just poisoned us!"

"No, see I've figured some of this out," said Merlin.

"And what is that?" asked Arthur.

"This isn't real," said Merlin.

"What the hell do you mean this isn't real? I'm real! I'm not sure about you some days, but I'm certainly real," said Arthur.

"I'm pretty sure we're both real," said Merlin calmly, "It's just this place, I think we're in a dream."

"We're in a dream," said Arthur flatly, "If we're in a dream, and I'm not saying that I believe you, who's dream is this? Yours or mine?"

"See that's what I'm not sure on, what's the last thing you remember before waking up here?" asked Merlin.

Arthur thought about it for a moment.

"My birthday feast," he said, "I took my father back to his chambers, and we shared a drink from a bottle of wine I received as a gift." He frowned, "Things get kind of hazy from there, I think there was another man, or maybe two. There was a scuffle, I might have had a sword, but I'm pretty sure I ended up on the floor."

"That explains this then," Merlin put his hand to his stomach and it came back red, "I must have interrupted the assassin. I was still kind of out it when Lester came to tell me you were in trouble. I ran in blindly. Yes that's right, I remember now; he stabbed me." He looked at Arthur over the crackling flames, "You know I think I'm dying."

* * *

Author's notes: Yes! I'm getting the grove now! ... Okay I'll never use that phrase again. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! :) Later Cynic


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

* * *

Gwen sat at Arthur's bedside; the prince stirred in his sleep, but didn't wake up.

"How is he?" asked Lancelot coming to stand behind her.

"He's restless," said Gwen, "Gaius says he'll be fine."

"Why are you here?" asked Lancelot.

"I was sitting with Merlin," said Gwen her eyes suddenly full of tears, "but he's getting worse, Gaius says he has a fever, and because of all the blood he lost, he might not be able to fight it. He told me to get some sleep, that there was nothing to be done, but wait and see if the medicine worked. But I couldn't go home, I couldn't be alone."

"So you came here," said Lancelot.

"Merlin saved him, I felt it was where I was meant to be if I couldn't be at his side," said Gwen.

"You're a good person Gwen, and you should have faith in Merlin, he is stronger than any I have ever known. It is not his destiny to die this way," Lancelot put his hand on Gwen's shoulder and she covered it with her own.

"I hope you're right," said Gwen.

* * *

"How can you be dying?" asked Arthur, "You seem to be doing okay,"

"I've been stabbed Arthur," said Merlin, "saving you again, that should never get old."

"I would have handled him, if you hadn't bumbled in when you did," said Arthur.

"Oh please, it took you a good five maybe ten seconds to grab your sword and start swinging, in that amount of time if I hadn't come in you'd have been dead, and so would Uther."

"If you're dying, and we're here in this dream together does that mean I'm dying too?" asked Arthur.

"Do you remember getting wounded?" asked Merlin.

"No, just dizzy," said Arthur.

"Then you're probably just in a drugged sleep," said Merlin, "I don't know how you ended up here with me, so don't ask."

"Why am I here with you, why can't you be here with me?" asked Arthur.

"Because I'm the one that's dying and it's not always about you," said Merlin standing up and walking to the edge of the forest.

"Does this have to do with the veil?" asked Arthur staying by the fire, "Does it give you the ability to share your dreams?"

"I don't know, maybe," said Merlin not turning back around, "Maybe because we were both unconscious and close together that power reached out to you."

"Thanks for that," said Arthur poking the campfire with a stick, "Do you have to die Merlin? I mean just because you're wounded, even badly doesn't mean you're automatically going to die."

"I think this is one of those things that could go either way," said Merlin stepping back towards the fire.

"And for some reason I'm here to help you figure out which way to go?" asked Arthur.

"Maybe," said Merlin with a shrug, "I do sacrifice myself to save you."

"You do?" asked Arthur.

"I did I meant did," said Merlin.

"You said do, as in always, like you're always sacrificing yourself for me," said Arthur frowning.

"It's what I've been doing since I came to Camelot," said Merlin, "I've been told it's my destiny to protect you."

"Destiny?" asked Arthur, with a snort of derision, "Why on earth would I need you to protect me?"

Merlin blinked clearly insulted, then his face fell, he put his hand to his forehead. "I feel strange," he said and collapsed to the floor.

* * *

"Hold him!" cried Gaius pushing Merlin's legs down. Gwaine had his shoulders pushing them down as Merlin struggled.

"What's wrong with him?" cried Gwaine.

"His fever is too high it's affecting his brain," said Gaius, "Keep him still until the attack passes." After a few minutes Merlin's movements slowed and stopped. Gaius released his legs and moved to check his eyes and pulse rate.

"Is it over?" asked Gwaine standing back to let Gaius work.

"For now, we must get his fever down. Get some water from the well we'll need to cool him down."

* * *

"Merlin!" cried Arthur sitting up with a jerk.

"Arthur?" said Gwen sitting up from her doze in the chair by Arthur's bed.

"Gwen?" said Arthur frowning confused, "What happened?"

"There was an assassin, you and your father were drugged," said Gwen.

"And Merlin?" asked Arthur, trying to piece together truth with dreams.

"Merlin somehow knew he went to warn you, but walked in on the attack. You killed the assassin, but Merlin was injured."

"How bad?" Arthur asked.

"He was stabbed, it's infected, and he's lost a lot of blood," said Gwen.

"But he'll recover," said Arthur.

"Gaius can't say, the last I checked he was sleeping, but if his fever got worse…" she trailed off, "it doesn't look good Arthur."

"I need to see him," said Arthur trying to stand up, the blood rushed to his head and he got so dizzy he needed to sit down again, "Whoa."

"You're still feeling the effects of the drug, I'll send someone for Gaius to check on you, and he can tell you how Merlin's doing," said Gwen, gently pushing Arthur back into the bed.

* * *

Agravaine backed up from Arthur's chamber door, he'd already been to Uther's room, but now that Arthur was awake he wasn't going to risk being found with the potion on him. He returned to his quarters and hid the vial.

* * *

Lancelot watched Agravaine hesitate at Arthur's door, stuff something in his pocket and then leave quickly down he passage, this behavior was all the more odd when he approached the door and heard voices.

* * *

Gwen went to get Gaius herself, and left Lancelot sitting with Arthur.

"Gaius," she called out to him, and he came out of Merlin's room backwards.

"Oh, Gwen just a moment," said Gaius, stepping out of the doorway, "Bring him out carefully, the tub is just here." He pointed to the tub, that Gaius and Merlin used for bathing. Gwaine followed Gaius out of Merlin's room carrying Merlin in his arms like a child. Merlin was unconscious and limp.

"What's going on?" asked Gwen.

"His fever is too high," said Gaius still directing Gwaine to the tub. Gwaine just nodded to Gwen and went over to the tub; he leaned over and gently placed Merlin in the water. The effect was instantaneous, Merlin began to thrash and kick, desperately trying to get out of the tub, Gaius leapt forward and grabbed his head and shoulders, and Gwaine grabbed his legs, holding him down in the water, neither caring that they were getting soaked. Merlin kept trying to push himself out of the water, so Gwen jumped in and grabbed his arms. She gasped at the cold of the water, and at Merlin's sudden strength. She pushed down with everything she had until finally his struggles stopped. Gaius relaxed his grip, so Gwen and Gwaine followed suit. "I need to check his wound," said Gaius, moving to Merlin's midsection, "it's good that we left it undressed so we don't have to worry about wet bandages." He reached into the water and Gwen watched him probe the neat line of stiches in Merlin's stomach. "Still intact," said Gaius, "At least something has gone right today," he sighed, "Was there something you needed Gwen?" he asked after a minute.

"Oh, Arthur's awake," said Gwen suddenly remembering, "He wanted an update on Merlin's condition, and I wanted see if you needed to examine, him, Arthur again, now that he's awake."

"Keep him cool," said Gaius to Gwaine handing him a cloth, "I won't be long." Gaius took up his bag and walked to the door with Gwen following in tow.

"How is Merlin?" asked Gwen as they walked towards Arthur's quarters.

"If we can't get the fever down I fear the worst," said Gaius, "But Merlin has surprised me before."

"I'm sure, he will again," said Gwen, as they reached Arthur's chambers, "I must attend to the king; he's still suffering the effects of the sedative."

"His weakened state, has caused him to have an exaggerated reaction to the sedative, try and give him water and I'll be over to see him after I've spoken to Arthur."

Gwen nodded and left. Gaius stepped into Arthur's chambers.

* * *

"I am Crown Prince of Camelot!" cried Arthur glaring at Lancelot who was stood at the foot of the bed blocking his path and trying hard not to laugh. "I command you to get me some trousers!"

"You have to stay in bed, Sire," said Lancelot.

"How are you feeling Sire?" asked Gaius setting his bag on the side table.

"Gaius!" cried Arthur, "Tell this clot-pole of a knight that I am fine, and to get me some pants!"

"Thank you for staying, Lancelot," said Gaius, "I'll take it from here." Lancelot gave a short bow and left.

"I take it from your tone that you are no longer feeling the effects of the sedative," said Gaius moving closer to Arthur checking his eyes and pushing him back down. "Are you having any other symptoms, dry mouth, dizziness? Shortness of breath?"

"The only thing I'm feeling right now, is angry that I can't get out of here and see…" he stopped himself, "I just want to get out of here," he said.

"I see no reason why you can't go about your business, provided you take it easy and eat something, I should think you'd be famished you have been asleep for over a day."

"I can't think of food, Gaius not when…" he stopped again, "Just tell me, how are my father and Merlin."

"Your father still sleeps, I'm going to check on him once we're through here, in his weakened state the sedative had a stronger effect on him."

"And Merlin?"

"I don't know how much you remember," Gaius began.

"Merlin was stabbed, there was a lot of blood," said Arthur.

"Yes," said Gaius, "I stitched the wound it was quite deep, he lost a lot of blood, and he was already weakened by the possession."

"Tell me, Gaius will he live?"

"He has a fever, it may have touched his brain, I've got him in a cold bath to try and get the fever down, if we can do that…then he has a chance," Gaius bowed his head, "I cannot say for certain if he will be himself after so much has happened, if he lives at all." Arthur closed his eyes refusing to let the emotions roiling through him come out, when he opened them Gaius had his hand on his shoulder. "Merlin would say that the sacrifice was worth it for him, so you could become the king he's always known you could be."

"Sacrifice?" Arthur frowned, "He told me that once, that sacrificing himself for me is what he does."

"When was that?" asked Gaius.

"We were in the woods, but I don't know where or why, it might have been a dream."

"Perhaps you should sit down sire," said Gaius.

"No, No," Arthur shook his head, "I'm fine, just a strange thing to dream of. I'm fine."

"Let's get you back to bed, you need to rest a little more, and I'll have some food sent up in a little while." Arthur allowed himself to be herded back on to the bed and Gaius pulled the covers over him.

"I really am fine," he said and passed out.

* * *

Author notes: The world is a strange place indeed, which is why I prefer to dwell here in the land of fairies and stories. Later Cynic.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

* * *

Merlin was laid out by the burning embers of the fire, watching the night sky; he heard someone walk out of the woods and knew it was Arthur.

"You were gone a long time," said Merlin sitting up a little, "The fire's almost out."

"I brought extra wood," said Arthur dumping an armful of sticks and branches by the fire-pit.

"So as it turns out, you do know how to collect firewood," said Merlin lying back down.

"Where did I go?" asked Arthur tending to the fire.

"How should I know? I've been here this whole time," said Merlin, "I guess I'm dying the slow way."

"Don't talk like that," said Arthur, "You seem fine."

"I can't move my legs," said Merlin quietly.

"Oh," said Arthur frowning into the renewed flames.

"I think you woke up," said Merlin.

"What?"

"When you disappeared, I think you woke up and that means this is my dream," said Merlin.

"Why on earth would I come to your dream Merlin? Twice?" asked Arthur.

"Maybe my powers brought you here," said Merlin.

"You have the power to see the dead Merlin, how does that mean you brought me to your dream?"

"I don't know, this is different from the other times," said Merlin.

"Other times of what?" asked Arthur.

"The other times I've been dying," said Merlin.

"Really Merlin? When have you been dying?" Arthur sneered.

"Apart from now? And apart from a few weeks ago with the Dorocha?"

"Yes, apart from those times," said Arthur impatiently.

"When I drank that poison from Nimeuh, Gaius said I was delirious, but I only remember a dark cavern, and a blue light."

"A blue light?" asked Arthur frowning.

"Yeah, and when I was stung by the serkets…" Merlin started to say.

"Wait when were you stung by a serket?" asked Arthur, "And for that matter how did you survive? The venom is almost always fatal."

"Yeah it almost was," said Merlin, "But I was so concerned about getting back to Camelot to warn you about Cenred's attack I didn't even think about it. The dying that is."

"Cenred's attack that's when you disappeared for days and came back just before we committed to the siege. I asked you where you were and you said…"

"I said I was dying," said Merlin.

* * *

Gwaine helped carry Merlin back into his bed, his fever had broken and against all odds the young man was still alive.

"Thank you, Gwaine," said Gaius as they pulled the blanket back over Merlin's too frail form. "You should go get some rest, I'll be here for him."

"You should rest too," said Gwaine.

Gaius looked down at Merlin, "I'll rest," he said, "when I can."

"I'll check on Arthur for you," said Gwaine, "and I'll be back." Gaius just nodded not taking his eyes from Merlin. Gwaine just sighed, and left the room.

Gaius sat by Merlin's side, holding the cold limp hand of his charge.

"Oh, my boy, I'm so sorry," the words were a whisper in the quiet of the room. Tears rolled down the old man's cheeks to drop silently to the floor. "I should have taken better care of you."

Gwaine stood by the door nearly in tears himself, but he didn't go back inside, there was nothing he could say to make it better.

* * *

Gwaine walked the corridors trying to work off his nervous energy, and he ran in to Lancelot coming the other way.

"Any news?" They both asked. Gwaine gestured for Lancelot to go first.

"Arthur's awake," he said, "he's sitting with his father."

"Merlin's fever broke," said Gwaine, "but Gaius isn't hopeful."

"Merlin's stronger than he's given credit for," said Lancelot.

"I hope so," said Gwaine, "Look I really need to get some air. Can you tell Gaius that Arthur is awake? I promised to check on him."

"I was on my way there anyway, are you okay?" asked Lancelot. Gwaine shook his head.

"We only just got him back," he said, "I don't know if I can stand it if he dies."

"Merlin will be fine," said Lancelot, "I told you he's strong."

"Tell me that again, when you've seen him," said Gwaine.

* * *

Merlin stoked the fire in the clearing they were running low on wood, and his paralysis had moved up his legs. Arthur had disappeared again; it felt different this time, like he was really gone. Merlin hoped that meant Arthur was fully awake and out of danger.

There was snap in the trees, and Merlin looked up, half expecting Arthur to walk out again with some more wood. But no one came, and the darkness was getting colder by the second.

* * *

Uther Pendragon was not a man who thought about what he believed in, he believed in what he could see and experience and anything else didn't really matter that much. So when he woke up in the woods, with his last clear memory of being in Camelot celebrating his son's birthday, Uther believed he had been enchanted.

The forest was unfamiliar, but that could have been because it was so dark, and it was getting cold, he knew he needed to find a place to shelter for the night. Then he saw it; a light shining the distance. He got up and he moved towards the light, it was a bright white light, like a star or the moon, but down among the trees. Uther followed it but it seemed to move further away every time he got closer, after a while he started to tire, and he decided to stop at a small stream. The water tasted better than any of the finest wines or ales he'd had as king and he slurped it down quickly.

"Merlin."

Uther looked up, the voice had called from the trees.

"Who's there?" he called.

"That depends," said the voice amusedly.

"On what?" called Uther looking around.

"On who you are," said the voice.

"I am Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot."

"Really?" asked the voice surprised, "I didn't expect to find you here, have you seen a skinny young man with dark hair?" Uther was turning in a circle trying to figure out where the voice was coming from, but it seemed to be coming from all directions at once.

"What sorcery is this? Show yourself!" he cried.

"You are such a little man, Uther Pendragon," said the voice, "why have you ventured into this realm?"

"I have not ventured anywhere, I have been abducted! Tell me where I am and how I get back to Camelot. I demand you tell me!"

"Your demands are of no consequence here, you will find your path before long I am sure. Have you seen Merlin? I sensed his presence in the veil, but he has not passed through it yet."

"You speak in riddles and I will not speak to thin air!" cried Uther.

"HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?" the voice bellowed shaking the trees, and the very ground itself.

"I haven't seen anyone," cried Uther barely keeping his feet.

"Oh," said the voice disappointed, "good luck then."

Somehow Uther knew that whatever the voice was it was gone. Just as he started looking again for the light, the moon came out and shone in the clearing illuminating a path almost hidden in the brush on the other side of stream, and there twinkling in the distance was the light beckoning him forward.

* * *

Killgarrah watched as Uther continued on his final trek, and shook his head, it was too quiet an end for one who had brought such suffering into the world. It was a necessary ending for the beginning of Albion to form, but in order for that to happen he had to make sure that the young warlock survived the night.

* * *

Merlin shivered huddling closer to the ever smaller fire, shivering in the enclosing darkness surrounding him.

"Merlin," Merlin's head snapped up, but there was no one out there in the darkness, "Merlin," the voice called again, it sounded almost searching.

"Who's there?" called Merlin.

"There you are young warlock," Merlin recognized the voice.

"Kilgarrah," Merlin smiled in relief, "where are you?"

"I do not have a physical form in this place, but I felt your presence here. What has happened?"

"I walked into an assassin's blade and ended up here," said Merlin, "I think I'm dying."

"You are on the edge, young warlock," said Kilgarrah, "You must fight to return to the world.

"How can I fight? I can barely move," said Merlin.

A warm breeze brushed through the clearing and Merlin closed his eyes reveling in the feel of the magic and the power sliding over and through him, his legs became warm and his foot twitched for the first time, in hours.

"Go young warlock, find the way out of this place, and whatever you do, do not go into the light."

* * *

A/N: If anyone ever tells you that making tea isn't hazardous duty they haven't had boiling water spilled over their hands. (Make it hard to type). Happy weekend! Cynic.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

* * *

Merlin trudged through the forest his mind blank except for putting one foot in front of the other. A twig snapped to his right and he looked up to see a man standing in a clearing, Merlin moved closer and saw that it was Uther and ahead of him was a small pond and bright shimmering light swam over top of it.

He watched transfixed as Uther stepped out and walked into the light. With a loud snap he disappeared. Merlin stepped out of the trees and put his hand out towards the light, it was pulling him and he felt so drawn towards it he stepped forwards to get closer standing on the bank of the pond. He reached out to see if he could touch the energy, but a small cold hand grabbed his wrist stopping him from getting any closer. Merlin jumped back in surprise, a young woman stood on the surface of the water the energy of the light swirled behind her and she smiled at him.

"Hello, Merlin," she said.

"Freya!" Merlin cried smiling, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to stop you," said Freya.

"Stop me from what?"

"From dying and destroying the world," said Freya.

* * *

Arthur sat by Merlin's side; he kept putting his hand towards Merlin's but stopped himself each time.

"My father is dead, Merlin," he said, "the sedative just finished him, and I think it was peaceful. At least that's something. Some would say it was too peaceful, but he was my father so I am glad he didn't linger." Arthur looked down at his hands, and looked at Merlin's stiffly folded on to his chest. "Gaius said you don't have long, that there's nothing else he can do, you lost too much blood. You can't die, Merlin, I can't lose my father and my… best friend on the same day! What did I ever do that I would deserve that? You're so stupid how could you have just run in there? You didn't even tell anyone where you were going! This is just typical you threw yourself in front of danger no weapon, no defense, no plan! I don't understand you; you're just a servant, why do you have to be like this? Why couldn't you be the coward I always expected you to be? I know you don't take orders, and you'll do whatever you think is right regardless, but I have one request, please, please don't die Merlin." Arthur stood up laid his hand on top of Merlin's and left.

* * *

"I don't understand," said Merlin, "How will I destroy the world by dying?" Freya glided over to him by the shore.

"You are Emrys you will raise up the greatest kingdom the world will ever know," said Freya.

"Uther is dead, Arthur will be king now, he's a good man he'll create the future that's right and fair. He doesn't need me for that," said Merlin.

"Do you want to die?" asked Freya.

"Maybe its time," said Merlin, he sat down on the bank and leaned forward on his knees; "Maybe if I die now I won't…" he trailed off looking into the swirling light.

"You won't what?" asked Freya. She sat down in front of him on the surface of the pool.

"I've done a lot of good," said Merlin, "I've helped save some people, but…but I've also killed, a lot and each time I'm presented with it, I reach for my power quicker, I hit harder and it's becoming so much easier to move on to the next. Magic is not meant to be this tool of domination and destruction, and I do not want to become one of those bitter, hardened people who use magic only as a weapon. Maybe if I die now, I won't become one of the monsters I've been fighting."

* * *

Lancelot sat by Merlin's side, his hand on his shoulder.

"Merlin, you must wake up, stop this and come back to us. Gaius says your magic is strong enough to heal this wound and bring you round, but for some reason it's not working. The only thing that can stop your magic is you Merlin, and I don't understand why you are preventing yourself from getting well again. Gaius told me that you allowed yourself to be possessed and that was why you were so tired the other day, but what I saw in your eyes was not physical fatigue.

"I've seen that look before on the faces of villagers protecting their families against invaders, and on soldiers in battles that wore on for days. It was the complete soul deep exhaustion of someone barely holding on. Someone who is simply going through the motions with nothing left to fuel them but the simple fact that giving up is not an option. I think something inside you has broken, not the stab wound, but everything that's come before it, you're not the bright and reckless boy I met and faced a griffin with. You are a man who has fought hard, killed and died for the love of your king and the future he will create. You've lost much for someone so young and your power is a great and terrible burden to bear. I will forgive this moment of doubt, you are human and I would not wish to be in your place, but as you have faith in Arthur, I have faith in you. You will be the greatest force for good in this world and you should remember that you are never alone in it." Lancelot squeezed Merlin's shoulder and left.

* * *

"Merlin you will never become the monster you fear," said Freya.

"How can you know that?" asked Merlin.

"Exactly because you fear it," said Freya.

"Tell me what will happen if I pass through to the other side." Merlin nodded to the light still shimmering behind them.

"You will be received into paradise," said Freya, "For all the good you have done with your gifts."

"But you said I would destroy the world," said Merlin.

"You remember the Isle of the Blessed?"

"Yes," said Merlin.

"It was there for the first time you truly became Emrys," said Freya.

"What does that mean?" asked Merlin.

"Your life stiches together the veil, when you die you tear it anew," said Freya.

"My life was used to repair the veil, so now I can't die?" asked Merlin.

"You can die," said Freya, "but you must live your life first."

"What does that mean?"

"For a normal person they are born with a certain amount of life energy, as they live the energy is used, and as a result they grow old and die," said Freya.

"So what happens if you die before you're old and out of energy?" asked Merlin.

"The energy is released as you step over the threshold and for most people it's nothing, a brief flash in the world sometimes there are storms, or earthquakes, but the energy is easily absorbed and redistributed into the world."

"So that's what will happen when I pass into the light my energy will leap back out into the world?"

"No, your energy will seep into the veil itself through the unhealed gaps and when it explodes it will tear the veil to shreds the barrier between worlds will be irreparable and chaos will rule the land," said Freya.

"I don't understand," said Merlin.

"When your life was used to heal the veil, it was used as a bridge over the tear," said Freya, "as you live, your life energy feeds slowly into the veil itself and seals the tear. If you were to die before it has completely healed the release of your energy would reopen the tear and rip through the rest."

"So I can only go through when the veil is completely healed?" asked Merlin.

"You are forever bound to the veil, if you step through with any energy left it will destroy the veil from the inside out."

"So you're saying I can't die until I'm out of energy. How long will that take?" asked Merlin.

"Merlin you are a singular being you have been given more life energy than any other living creature in creation, your life brings light to the world it's why you are the way you are. It's what saved me," she smiled at him.

"So why can't I just wait here with you until the energy is gone?" asked Merlin.

"Your energy is life and there is no life here in this space between and I am just a messenger, I cannot stay forever."

* * *

Gwaine sat with his feet up on Merlin's cot.

"So Gaius says it's a matter of hours, before, well you know, but I'm not buying it Merlin. I refuse. I know you; you're my friend, a real friend. You're the only one that respects me as a person, and not just a pretty face and a decent fighter. I don't know why, those are my key skills, but you always showed me you believed I was more than that.

"I know why you didn't tell me about your gift, and I'm sorry that you've had to hide for so long. I take comfort that you were at least comfortable enough not to hide too hard with me and let me figure it out for myself. No one else would have given me enough credit. I know what you can do Merlin, and I know what you have done in the name of defense for your friends and for Camelot. And I know what it does to you to do terrible things even for the right reasons." Gwaine sat up and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "I know you're tired Merlin. I know that everything that's happened especially in these past few months have taken their toll on you. I don't blame you for hiding in there, but don't hide too long we need you back. I need my friend back." Gwaine got up pulled Merlin's blanket a little higher on his chest and left.

* * *

"If I go back," said Merlin, "how long would it take for my life energy to dissipate?"

"I don't know," said Freya.

"How will I know when I can cross over then?" asked Merlin.

"You'll know," said Freya.

"What happens if I'm injured so badly my magic cannot repair it?" asked Merlin.

"Your magic is more powerful than you can even comprehend and if you allow it, it will heal you of any wound. Some things take time, so you may wish to sleep through them," said Freya.

"I have more energy than any other living creature," said Merlin, "the druids call me Emrys," he looked at Freya, "do you know what Emrys means in the language of the old religion?"

"Yes," said Freya, "for them it is true."

"I don't want to live forever," said Merlin.

"Everyone dies, Merlin, but you, I'm afraid, are on the slow path."

* * *

Gwen sat at Merlin's beside tears ran freely down her cheeks.

"Merlin," she sniffed and took a deep breath to calm herself, "Gaius said that you should already be dead, the wound you suffered was great and the blood you lost too much and you should have died on the floor of Uther's chambers. Maybe you did die then and that's why you aren't waking up now, your spirit is gone somewhere and even though your body continued to work you are already gone. I hope that you can return before your body completely dies, because if you're dead Merlin…I don't know what I'm going to do.

"You are my best friend. You're the one person I go to any time I have news or need someone to talk to. It's always you, since you got here you've been the best friend I've ever had. You brought me to Arthur, and showed me that being open to love was worth the risk, even when it seemed impossible.

"You do so much for everyone here, more than anyone realizes, more than even Arthur knows I think. You are important Merlin to everyone who loves you; me, and Arthur and all the knights that you brought to Camelot with your courage and honor. You are amazing; you brought us all here and you can't leave us now just when we need you most. Arthur is going to need you by his side so that while he's learning to be king, you can remind him to be Arthur and keep him smiling. You keep us all smiling Merlin, even in the darkest of times your light has brought us through, don't give up on us now, don't…don't be dead Merlin, come back to us."

Gwen closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

* * *

"I already know," said Morgana as Agravaine came into the hut, "My father is dead."

"Yes," said Agravaine pulling off his cloak, "and so is the boy Merlin."

Morgana's face broke into a smile.

"Tell me everything."

* * *

A/N: Hope you are enjoying this, I've got in a surprise for you all, it's a virtual chocolate fountain! Lots of fun dipping stuff as well strawberries, pineapple, cake, and pretzels. Dig in! Later Cynic.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

* * *

Arthur sat in his chambers just staring into the empty fire grate. Normally, Merlin would have lit the fire by now, but well that wasn't going to happen. There was a knock on the door and Gaius came in slowly with that sympathetic look on his face that everyone was wearing.

"Sire," he said nodding his head, "I've seen to your father he's been laid to rest in the family crypt." Arthur nodded but didn't look up.

"What about Merlin?"

"He requested a specific spot in the woods," said Gaius.

"Requested?" asked Arthur.

"Merlin understood that being who he was he may fall in your service, he gave me a letter with his final wishes in it," said Gaius.

"What are his wishes?" asked Arthur.

"He wishes to be laid to rest in the lake, it was a favorite spot of his," said Gaius.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure," said Gaius.

"Very well," said Arthur, "when will you go?"

"I ordered Merlin laid in the crypt chamber until after your father's memorial, so I could gather a detail to take him to the lake," said Gaius, "I believe some of the knights have volunteered."

"Of course," said Arthur dismissing Gaius, but he still hesitated, "was there something else?"

"Merlin wrote you a letter too," said Gaius pulling it from his robe and handing it over. It had Merlin's untidy scrawl on the front and a blank wax seal on the back.

"Thank you," said Arthur unable to tear his eyes from the black outline of his own name. Gaius bowed and left the room.

Arthur took a few seconds before breaking the seal and opening the letter.

_Arthur,_

_If I'm not dead stop reading this instant and put this letter back where you found it! _

_Okay, so I'm probably dead, I've asked Gaius to give this to you in the event I'm killed. Let's face it I probably died saving your life, so before you get noble or pratish about it I have to say you're welcome, and no, it's not your fault. I've been protecting you since I came to Camelot and with the breadth and depth of all the stuff that rains down on this place it's a miracle I haven't died more than I have. I haven't counted, I'm sure Gaius can tell you more details, or if you want I suppose you could read my journal, that's assuming it wasn't destroyed in whatever event led to my unfortunate demise. I just wanted to say it was an honor to serve you and help you even in the small fashion I did. I take all credit for the marked reduction in your arrogance and general noble assedness."_ Arthur smiled even as his eyes began to fill.

_"You're a good man Arthur you did that by yourself, and you'll make a good king. In the druid prophesies you are the Once and Future King, you're the man who will reunite Albion and bring magic back to the land. I believe you're that man, the man strong enough to do that. I know you'll be surprised, but there are prophesies about me too, they call me Emrys, advisor to the king, and well, since I'm dead and you can't kill me for this I'll just tell you. I'm a warlock, I was born able to do magic, I've been using magic to save your life and protect Camelot since I arrived." _Arthur blinked and reread that last sentence; yes it said Merlin had magic.

_I hope you can understand why I kept this from you and I hope you can forgive me. You are my best friend, and I hope you can remember our time together fondly and I hope you can find the strength to continue down this path we started down together. Take care of the others they will need your strength especially Gwen, she is your queen, Arthur, noble blood or not she will be your partner and your friend. I don't know what happens when you die, but I've seen enough to know that we carry the dead with us in our hearts and minds and those that we touch are forever marked by our imprint on their lives, I hope the mark I leave behind is a good one and one that will bring a smile to you once in a while. _

_Thank you for all that you have done for me, and for all that I was able to do because of you._

_Always,_

_Merlin_

The paper crumped in Arthur's fist before he even realize he had clenched it, he stood up knocking a goblet off the table as he went, but he didn't notice, he was across the room and out the door before it stopped rolling along the floor.

* * *

Merlin sat quietly picking at the grass and staring at the swirling light behind Freya, she sat on the water, flicking her fingers across the surface making small ripples.

"I have to go back," said Merlin.

"If you wish to pass into the next realm one day," said Freya, "then yes you must return to the realm of the living and finish out your life."

"Will you be here?" he asked, "When I come back will you be here?"

"Of course, I will be out there for you too when you have need of me," she smiled at him with sympathy and kindness.

Merlin stood up, and Freya mirrored him standing in front of him on the surface of the water.

"How do I get back?" he asked.

Freya reached up and ran the back of her hand down his cheek.

"All you have to do is want to," she said. Her hand whipped out and she grabbed his neck and pulled, he fell forward into her arms and then they both went down into the water, it was freezing and he gasped as he went beneath the surface.

* * *

"Did you know about this?" Arthur barged into Gaius' chambers holding the letter in his fist.

"Know about what?" asked Gwen standing up from where she'd been straightening Gaius's desk. Arthur immediately deflated.

"Where's Gaius?" he asked.

"Down in the crypt with Merlin," said Gwen.

"What are you doing here?" asked Arthur.

"Tidying up some, Gaius hasn't slept he barely ate these last few days, I just I wanted to help out a little and I just I prefer to keep busy, because otherwise I remember…" she sniffed her eyes were filling with tears and Arthur was across the room in an instant holding her to his chest as she cried. "I just I can't believe he's gone."

"I know me neither," said Arthur.

"Oh Arthur I'm so sorry," said Gwen stepping back and pulling herself back together a little, "I shouldn't burden you with this, you've lost your father."

"I can't mourn for both my father and my friend?" asked Arthur holding out his arms again. Gwen let herself be folded back into his embrace.

"Are you okay?" she asked, "You looked angry when you came in."

"Oh," said Arthur as if just remembering the letter still clutched in his hand, "I just I still don't understand why."

"Why what?" asked Gwen.

"Why Merlin did what he did," said Arthur.

"That was who he was Arthur, he never thought of himself, only of what he could do to help others. He was very brave and he never asked for thanks," said Gwen.

"I found out a secret about him, something he kept from me," said Arthur.

"I'm sure Merlin had his reasons," said Gwen.

"It changes everything I knew about him, and I can't talk to him about it because he's gone and I'm so angry with him for dying," Gwen wrapped her arms tighter around Arthur and he relaxed a little.

"You should go talk to him," said Gwen.

"He's dead Gwen," said Arthur.

"All the more reason. You should go down to the crypt. Forgive him, Arthur, and let him rest in peace."

* * *

A/N: Ah the angst! :) Have fun! Later Cynic.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

* * *

Gaius stood over Merlin's body laid out on the preparation table.

"Oh my boy," he sniffed back tears and rubbed his eyes, "I was not meant to outlive you." Footsteps in the hall brought him back to himself and he turned to see Arthur enter the chamber. "My lord, were you looking for me?"

"Actually, I was hoping to have a moment alone with Merlin," said Arthur.

"Of course, Sire," said Gaius with a final mournful look at Merlin he left.

Arthur approached the slab slowly taking in Merlin's pale form, his eyes were closed so he almost looked asleep, Gaius had dressed him in his usual clothes right down to his neckerchief and boots.

"You could have told me," said Arthur, "I would have been furious, but you could have told me. I wouldn't have killed you for it. That thought wouldn't even occur to me. I feel like I don't even know you, your letter says you've been using magic since I've known you. All this time I just thought you were a little weird, turns out I underestimated you.

"I don't know how to feel about you having magic, mostly because I'm so overwhelmed with having to think about what I'm going to do without you. I never thought that I would have to do without you. I've been preparing to live without my father my entire life, I always knew when I came to the throne I would be alone.

"You've been in my life everyday by my side through the ordinary and the extraordinary, I never thought you wouldn't be there to crack jokes and insult me. I don't know this Emrys, I don't know the warlock that you were Merlin, but I did know you as my servant, and my friend and for everything you did for me I want to say thank you, and for everything you couldn't tell me, I forgive you. Rest in peace Merlin." Arthur put his hand on Merlin's heart then walked towards the door.

Merlin's foot jerked knocking over one of the candlesticks lighting the chamber. Arthur turned back at the sound and saw Merlin sat up on the slab taking great heaving breaths and looking around the room in absolute terror.

"Merlin!" Arthur was at his side in moments, he put his arm around Merlin and could feel fine tremors running through his body. Merlin took a few more breaths and looked around at Arthur.

"Arthur?" He frowned and then his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell limp in Arthur's arms.

Arthur quickly felt at Merlin's neck and sure enough there was a strong heartbeat, without a second thought he grabbed Merlin into his arms and ran from the room.

* * *

Gaius walked slowly up the stairs towards to the main castle, he'd waited longer than he normally would have to declare Merlin dead, he didn't want to believe that such a person with such potential for greatness could be killed so easily. But after over an hour of no pulse, Gaius had finally given in to reason and informed the king of the death of his manservant. Arthur hadn't wanted to believe it at first insisted on seeing him, Gaius showed him there was no pulse, no breath, no blood flow, no life.

Arthur had locked himself in his chambers refused visitors and it was all Gaius could do to stop himself from breaking down and crying. The last few days had taken their toll and seeing Merlin lying there in the crypt, it was the last straw. His foot slipped on the step ahead of him and he just turned and dumped himself down on the steps. He threw his hands over his face and cried, huge wracking sobs. He sat there for a while until he was just staring off down the corridor the tears still falling down his face. He was just about to heave himself up, when he heard footsteps in the corridor below, a few seconds later he was shocked to see Arthur running towards him with Merlin in his arms.

"Sire, what are you doing?" cried Gaius standing as Arthur approached him on the stairs.

"He woke up," said Arthur hefting Merlin in his arms, "he woke up and he said my name and he's breathing Gaius, I can feel his heart." Gaius reached to Merlin's neck and almost jumped back in shock when he felt a strong steady beat under his fingers.

"Get him to my chambers," said Gaius suddenly filled with energy and relief.

Arthur walked quickly ahead of Gaius and up the stairs, Gaius joined him and they walked together to Gaius' chambers.

"Was it magic?" asked Arthur as he laid Merlin on Gaius' treatment table.

"What?" Gaius said. He was leaning over Merlin to check his pulse and breathing again.

"In his letter Merlin said he had magic, could his magic have healed him? Brought him back to life?"

"I don't know," said Gaius looking up from Merlin's body, "if his magic was going to help I would have thought it would happen sooner, he heals much faster than normal already."

"You've been keeping this from me, from my father since the day he arrived in the city you've been covering for him," said Arthur.

"Of course," said Gaius, "Merlin was placed in my care, and he has never used his magic for any malicious purposes. I wouldn't see him murdered for the gifts he was born with."

"No," said Arthur, "nor would I."

Gaius opened Merlin's shirt to examine the knife wound and saw that it was completely healed.

"I don't know how I don't know why, but he's fine," said Gaius.

"Then why doesn't he wake up?" asked Arthur.

"He's sleeping," said Gaius, "I suppose coming back from the dead can be quiet exhausting."

"Can you wake him?" asked Arthur, "I want to make sure he is himself."

Gaius pulled out a small bottle and uncorked it under Merlin's nose. Merlin flinched and swatted the bottle away and then sat up with a jerk.

"Oh my god!" he said, "That stuff is awful!"

"Merlin?" asked Gaius.

Merlin took in the concerned expressions of both Arthur and Gaius and frowned.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well," said Gaius, "you were stabbed and then you died, but now you're back and it's all okay."

"I died!" cried Merlin. He stood up and immediately lost balance, but Arthur caught him and helped him stand up. "That explains this terrible taste in my mouth," he said giving Arthur a strange look.

"Maybe you should get some rest," said Arthur and started to help Merlin up the stairs into his room.

"I am tired," said Merlin yawning as Arthur helped him sit on his cot, "I remember walking, and there was this bright light, and your father was there Arthur, he walked into the light. Oh, it was so beautiful, I wanted to go into the light too," Merlin smiled sadly and lay down.

"Why didn't you?" asked Arthur.

"Because I'm Emrys and I didn't want to destroy the world." With those words Merlin was fast asleep and snoring loudly.

"What does that mean?" asked Arthur, as Gaius pulled a blanket up over Merlin's shoulders.

"I don't know," said Gaius grinning widely tears filling his eyes, "but we can ask him later."

* * *

Agravaine ducked into Morgana's cabin.

"Agravaine, I didn't expect to see you so soon, I thought you'd be staying near my brother to guide him in his first days as king," said Morgana.

"I have news of great import," said Agravaine.

"Do tell," said Morgana smiling, "did you find out who Emrys is?"

"My enquires as to the identity of Emrys have been unsuccessful, and while I still believe that Gaius is hiding something on that front, I have other news."

"What is that?" asked Morgana.

"I have reason to believe he is still practicing magic," said Agravaine.

"Why is that?" asked Morgana.

"Because Merlin is alive."

"What!" cried Morgana, "You told me he was dead!"

"He was dead, he was laid in the crypt definitely dead."

"Then how is he alive?" asked Morgana.

"Gaius has a past with magic and he does have a strong bond with the boy," said Agravaine.

"You think Gaius has the power to bring a person back from the dead," said Morgana she shook her head. "If Gaius had that kind of power he'd have used it with more of his patients he's a bleeding heart and if he could do that why not save the king too?"

"Then how do you explain it?" asked Agravaine.

"What did Arthur tell you about his servant's miraculous resurrection?"

"Apparently the knife the assassin used was tipped with a kind of poison, and a rare but not unheard of reaction to the poison is a temporary paralysis that mimics death, but the person is really in a very deep sleep."

"Convenient," said Morgana, "it must have been Emrys."

"Why would a great sorcerer bother with a servant?" asked Agravaine.

"Perhaps as a favor to Gaius," said Morgana, "You still believe that Gaius knows more about Emrys than he has told you?"

"I do," said Agravaine.

"Keep your eyes open, and stay besides Arthur, he must continue to trust you implicitly. If Gaius knows Emrys, it is possible Merlin is aware of him too so try to befriend him along with Arthur. Arthur trusts Merlin, if Merlin trusts you it will be to your advantage."

"But he is just a servant," said Agravaine.

"If he's important enough to be revived from the dead, he's more than simply a servant," said Morgana, "Go and observe and return when you have more news."

"Very well my lady," said Agravaine.

* * *

A/N: Well it's been quite a week for me, but it's been a rough few days for Merlin too, so I try to keep it in perpective.:)

Happy Friday. Later Cynic.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

* * *

Gaius carried a mug into Merlin's room and sat on the stool beside the bed. Merlin rolled over and smiled at him.

"How are you feeling?" asked Gaius taking a sip from his cup.

"All things considered," Merlin sighed, "I feel pretty good."

"About what you told me," Gaius paused.

"It doesn't change anything," said Merlin, "I'm still the same person I was before."

"I know that Merlin," said Gaius, "but it does put things in a new light. After all now we know that you're…"

"No!" said Merlin sharply; "I'm not. The druids got it wrong. I can be hurt, I can be killed, just not easily." They sat quietly for a few more minutes. "You know I'm going to have to have this conversation with Arthur don't you? Only instead of the whole Emrys thing it's going to be about magic."

"I know," said Gaius, "but I don't think it will be that bad. He seemed enormously relieved when you came back to life."

"Yeah, probably worried about finding another servant," said Merlin smiling weakly.

"Merlin everyone was devastated when you died," said Gaius frowning, "they were all here begging you to wake up."

"Who was?" asked Merlin surprised.

"Arthur, Gwen, Lancelot, Gwaine and the other knights kept sending messengers asking for updates on your condition. Several of the kitchen staff stopped by asking about you, and if I had one stable hand in here I had a dozen over the last few days. They all heard about your bravery and they all wanted to wish you well and when I asked for volunteers for your funeral detail more than forty people put themselves forward before I stopped accepting names."

"That can't be right, I'm just a servant to most of them, a mediocre one at that the only people who know what I really do are you and Lancelot, and maybe Gwaine he never said but I'd be willing to bet he's figured this out. Why would anyone else be so upset?"

"You know for someone with such a great destiny you are a fool Merlin, you're a huge part of life in the castle. You have more friends than you think," said Gaius.

Merlin continued to eye him with disbelief. Gaius stood up and patted Merlin's legs. "Get some rest," he said, "Arthur wants to see you in the morning."

"Does Arthur know?" said Merlin.

"About what?"

"About what it means to be Emrys?"

"I suppose that's something you'll have to discuss with him," said Gaius.

* * *

Arthur knocked and went into Merlin's room. Merlin stood by his cot with his back to the door, and it wasn't until he turned around that Arthur saw he was folding clothes.

"Oh, Arthur, I was just going to come up, Gaius said you wanted to see me," said Merlin.

"I didn't expect you to come to me, Merlin, I wasn't really expecting you to be out of bed this quickly," said Arthur.

"I'm fine," said Merlin. He sat down on the edge of his cot and gestured Arthur to the stool.

"You were dead," said Arthur, sitting down.

"I know, I'm sorry," said Merlin not looking at Arthur.

"Sorry for what?" asked Arthur, "Sorry for dying, for jumping in to save my life, or sorry for not telling me you had magic?"

Merlin looked up.

"The first one," he said.

"So you're not sorry for lying to me?" asked Arthur.

"You always found the lies easier to believe," said Merlin.

"There was always something about you," said Arthur, "but…"

"But you didn't really want to know the truth, so any hint of magic in connection with me was pushed aside, left unnoticed or unexamined. You never wanted to be burdened with this knowledge, because while your father was alive you would have no recourse but to put me to death."

"I would never!" said Arthur standing up.

"Not now no, but when we first met? If I told you the reason I was able to save your life that first time was because of magic. Well, you'd have thrown me at your father's feet like a dog drops a bone for its master."

"Merlin!" Arthur warned.

"That was before we really knew each other," said Merlin, "You've gotten better, more independent from your father's views. If five years ago, we'd had the issue with the veil you would have told your father and while I don't think even Uther would kill me for being the vessel of a magical force against my will, he also wouldn't let me go free. I'd have been imprisoned in the dungeon like the Great Dragon for all those years. We've both grown up with this thing hovering over our heads. Your inborn nobility and heritage has set you apart your entire life, my magic has done the same for me, but while your difference was used to close you off from everyday life outside the castle in order to protect you, my difference could never be seen or acknowledge or I'd have been killed because of it.

"The second my mother learned that Will knew what I was she sent me here. The irony that her old friend with experience in magical matters lived and worked at the center of the place responsible for the danger I faced was lost on her I suppose," Merlin smiled without showing his teeth, "Two sides of the same coin, or so they say."

"If you'd let me speak," said Arthur, "I could tell you that I agree, and I'm not mad about you lying to me about the magic. I understand that you had to hide, I'm not saying I fully support what you did, but I know you well enough to know you didn't think you had a choice."

"Oh," said Merlin a little taken back, "okay, thanks for that. I think. So how do you want to work this?"

"What do you mean?" asked Arthur.

"Well you know I have magic, and I'm going to continue to use magic. How do you want to handle that?" asked Merlin.

"Err," said Arthur frowning.

"Also do you want to know the rest?" asked Merlin.

"The rest of what?" asked Arthur.

"The details and extent of my powers and that whole destiny thing," said Merlin.

"Oh, err, do you have to keep using magic?" asked Arthur.

"Yes," said Merlin, "it's part of me, also if I stopped you'd be dead very quickly and either Morgana would take over or the kingdom would be razed to the ground."

"Think highly of yourself don't you?" said Arthur.

"You don't know how many times I've saved your life," said Merlin with a little smile.

"Then tell me," said Arthur sitting down again.

###

* * *

a/n That's all she wrote folks! I want to thank everyone who has read and/or reviewed this piece, I've truly enjoyed this journey and I hope you all have too. Now you all have a safe trip home, and don't forget to tip your waitress. Thank You! Cynic.


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